Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Trending via Telegram:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Live now on X:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Spotted on Messenger:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Going bananas on Reddit:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Once upon a time, bedtime was a penalty box; now it's the holy grail of adulthood 🛌🔍😂

bedtime, believe, childhood, humor, i, irony, nostalgia, parenting, punishment, sleep, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

0

2 months ago

came, doctor, health, high, home, humor, i, joke, me, medical, moved, shelf, sugar, today, too, visit, wordplay
When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

0

2 months ago

40, age, birthday, growing, growing up, humor, i, kid, nostalgia, older, say, turning, turning 40, wanted
Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

0

2 months ago

career, dating, humor, job, just, market, relationship, right, same, scene, stay, where
Body by sandwich.

0

2 months ago

body, fitness, food, humor, joke, sandwich
20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

0

2 months ago

20s, 40s, adulthood, age, changes, drinking, even, forty, fridge, hangover, humor, life, life changes, open, sunglasses, twenty
By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

0

2 months ago

date, humor, i, irony, meet, person, relationship, right, self-deprecation, time, timing, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

24 shares on Threads this month:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

34 shares on X this month:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Making waves on Twitch:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Trending via YouTube:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Making waves on Discord:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Seen just now on X:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Trending via Snapchat:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Making waves on X:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Body by sandwich.

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨