Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,387

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Broadcasted on X:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Spotted on Twitch:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Making waves on Twitch:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Spotted on Threads:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Going viral on Twitch:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Once upon a time, bedtime was a penalty box; now it's the holy grail of adulthood 🛌🔍😂

bedtime, believe, childhood, humor, i, irony, nostalgia, parenting, punishment, sleep, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

0

4 months ago

epiphany, every, humor, i, motivation, need, night, self-improvement, turn
I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

0

2 months ago

choice, hate, honesty, humor, i, interaction, nice, people, self-deprecation, social, social interaction, ugly
Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

0

2 months ago

attitude, choice, choose, early, humor, i, kindness, morning, motivation, procrastination, self-control, still, today, well
I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

0

2 months ago

accountability, actions, always, around, blame, else, humor, i, loneliness, responsibility, self-awareness, take
My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

0

2 months ago

body, fitness, humor, pending, procrastination, self-deprecation, summer, summer body, ten, ten years, year’s
During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

0

2 months ago

childbirth, cold, comparison, experience, feel, humor, men, much, pain, suffering, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

17 shares on X this month:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I will never stop being a quitter!

Making waves on YouTube:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Going bananas on X:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Making waves on Twitch:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨