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"Looks like that package is stealing the spotlight! 📦🏠 Don't worry, it's just a delivery, not an audition for 'Home Alone 5'! 😂 #PackageDrama"

anticipation, anxiety, delivery, even, home, i, knowing, package, relatable, straight, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

1 month ago
advice, count, diet, different, fruit, health, humor, i, me, need, nutritionist, source, told, wine
People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

2 months ago
attitude, date, disrespect, expiration, forgiveness, forgot, grudges, humor, i, insult, memory, people, said, shit, think
I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

1 month ago
am, box, clumsiness, graceful, head, humor, i, puppy, self-deprecation, stuck, transformation, used
Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

1 month ago
attack, different, direct, disagreement, feelings, friendly, having, humor, movie, opinion, person, personal, perspective, reminder, sarcasm, should, someone, take
“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

1 month ago
disappointment, eat, food, humor, self-deprecation
Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

2 months ago
absurdity, Dave, humor, microwave, name, poetry, randomness, red, roses, roses are red, sense

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

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Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

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Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

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Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

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Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

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I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

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Going viral on Pinterest:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Trending via Threads:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Just landed via TikTok:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Going viral on TikTok:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

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I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

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I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

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