Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Seen just now on Twitch:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Going bananas on WeChat:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Spotted on Instagram:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Spreading quickly via X:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Spotted on Twitch:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Just shared via X:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Just shared via Threads:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about mental chatter turning into a podcast, playful and humorous in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew my thoughts were such chatterboxes? 🗣️🎙️ Now I've got a mind full of influencers! 🤯 #PodcastMania"

absurdity, comedy, head, health, humor, i, imagination, mental, mental health, mind, own, podcast, voices

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Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

51 shares on Threads this month:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

98 shares on Threads this month:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

All human behavior is performative, besides the crying of an infant.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Just shared via WeChat:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Seen just now on Threads:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Just landed via Facebook:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Shared recently on X:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Seen just now on Threads:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨