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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Trending via Slack:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Going viral on X:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Broadcasted on X:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Trending via X:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Making waves on Telegram:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

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I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.
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Commentary:
🤣 "I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do. Ah, the classic approach of 'button-mashing optimism' – Maybe one day we'll uncover the mystery behind those magical buttons! 🔮💡"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Telegram this month:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

29 shares on TikTok this month:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

59 shares on Slack this month:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution. It’s the year’s turn to be better.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Spotted on Reddit:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Spotted on Telegram:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Spotted on Discord:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Shared recently on Discord:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Going bananas on Discord:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Making waves on Messenger:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

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