Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,749

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Just landed via X:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Just landed via Instagram:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Just landed via Discord:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Spotted on Messenger:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Live now on X:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Trending via Reddit:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

2 months ago

0

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 "I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do. Ah, the classic approach of 'button-mashing optimism' – Maybe one day we'll uncover the mystery behind those magical buttons! 🔮💡"

C, calculator, CE, clear, confusion, humor, i, math, mistakes, technology, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

0

2 months ago

clothes, food, humor, i, mess, only, relatable, skills, social, spill, talent, too, yours
Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

0

5 months ago

ancestry, combination, face, family, generation, generations, heritage, literally, love, people, relationship, remember
I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

0

2 months ago

bag, candy, commentary, humor, i, joke, M&M, social, social commentary, woke, wordplay
Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

0

5 months ago

after, age, aging, alcohol, better, bourbon, drinking, feel, feeling, feeling better, fine, fine bourbon, humor, least
Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

0

2 months ago

cooking, food, humor, identity, italian, just, means, pesto, pounding, relatable, word
I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

0

2 months ago

car, casual, casual wear, clothing, dressing, fashion, getting, humor, i, just, meant, outfit, outfits, straight, style, think, wardrobe, wear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,649

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Going viral on Discord:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Just shared via Messenger:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Trending via Slack:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Going viral on X:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Just landed via Twitch:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

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