Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,321

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Trending via Slack:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs haters when you've got a fan club lining up for the abuse show? 🙌😂 #BringItOn"

abuse, dying, humor, i, me, people, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

0

2 months ago

chasing, Easter, Easter egg, egg, eggs, game, games, gaming, gaming humor, hide, humor, item, items, place, rare, rare item, video, video game, waterfall, where
December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

0

2 weeks ago

calorie, count, December, diet, eating, festive, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, law
Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

0

2 months ago

activity, ask, ball, bowling, bowling ball, fun, fun activity, gift, gift idea, girlfriend, give, humor, idea, personalized, personalized gift, relationship, ring, ring size, size, surprise
Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

0

2 months ago

chocolate, comfort, humor, indulgence, questions, silly, treat, understanding
I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

0

2 months ago

computer, found, freezing, humor, i, joke, open, technology, troubleshooting, window
If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, even, hacked, humor, identity, irony, Kanye, know, privacy, surprise

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

85 shares on Discord this month:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

98 shares on Facebook this month:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

13 shares on Threads this month:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Trending via Slack:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Shared recently on Discord:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Going bananas on Slack:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Spotted on Reddit:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Seen just now on Slack:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨