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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Live now on Discord:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Shared recently on Facebook:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Just shared via X:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Trending via Facebook:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Shared recently on Facebook:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs haters when you've got a fan club lining up for the abuse show? 🙌😂 #BringItOn"

abuse, dying, humor, i, me, people, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, dinosaur, dinosaurs, extinction, humor, irony, prehistoric
What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

0

2 months ago

around, conversation, dance, dancing, floor, humor, i, mof, moves, self-deprecation, social, wit
Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

0

2 months ago

ask, astrology, being, ever, feelings, humor, Mercury, only, perspective, reflection, retrograde, self-centered, stop, think, yourself
It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

0

2 months ago

amazing, attitude, both, cat, cats, ears, humor, ignore, ignoring, pet
The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

0

2 months ago

best, best part, chat, communication, friendship, getting, group, group chat, humor, later, leaving, media, online, online communication, social, social media, weeks
Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

0

2 months ago

articulate, communication, humor, just, sexting, sound, texting, vampire

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Facebook this month:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

51 shares on X this month:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

70 shares on Facebook this month:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Live now on Facebook:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Spotted on Discord:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Trending via Discord:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Going viral on TikTok:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Breaking via Instagram:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I was dropped as an adult.

Trending via Threads:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨