Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.
  • I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.
  • Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.
  • Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.
  • I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.
  • Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.