Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

55 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Trending via Snapchat:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Just shared via X:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Trending via Instagram:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

6 months ago

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Explorers searching for new worlds vs. husbands searching for butter… a historic tale of navigation struggles! 🌎🧳🗺️ Let's hope the next expedition leads them to the Land of the Lost Butter! 🚀🤷‍♂️🍞 #LostInSpaceAndRefrigerators"

butter, continents, cooking, discovery, even, fridge, humor, i, irony, men, mine, relationship, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

55 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Seen just now on Discord:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Trending via X:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Going viral on Reddit:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴