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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,538

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Just shared via TikTok:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Trending via Telegram:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Spotted on YouTube:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Just shared via Telegram:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Live now on Instagram:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

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I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.
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Commentary:
Who needs Halloween when everyday life is already full of strange characters? 👻🎃 Embrace the chaos and enjoy the never-ending show! Just remember to keep some extra candy on hand for those unexpected tricksters that pop up throughout the year. 🍬😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

59 shares on Threads this month:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,249

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Behind every beautiful woman is either tummy issues, low iron, or poor eyesight.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Live now on YouTube:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Trending via Facebook:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Trending via WhatsApp:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Just landed via Slack:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Just shared via Messenger:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

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