Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Shared recently on Slack:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Shared recently on Twitch:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Going viral on Facebook:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Spotted on Discord:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Just landed via Twitch:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Just shared via Facebook:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Witty quote about carefree indifference with a humorous, relaxed vibe.
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Commentary:
"Me trying to solve my life problems like 🤷‍♂️: 'I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.' Who needs logic when you've got a carefree attitude? 😂 #LivingMyBestConfusedLife"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

59 shares on X this month:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

28 shares on Threads this month:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

43 shares on X this month:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,702

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Just shared via Twitch:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Going viral on TikTok:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Trending via Pinterest:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Spotted on TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Trending via Messenger:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

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