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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

19 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Trending via YouTube:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Going viral on Telegram:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Just shared via YouTube:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Spotted on Messenger:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

3 months ago

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh no, it sounds like you're stuck in a digital identity crisis! 🤖 Don't worry, being accused of being a robot just means you're extra tech-savvy! Time to bring out your secret weapon: a password manager! 🔒💻 Embrace your inner human and show those captchas who's boss! 😄 #DigitalDrama

allegations, being, captcha, comedy, even, failed, fight, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, know, password, robot, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

19 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Breaking via Facebook:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Spotted on WeChat:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Spotted on WeChat:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Seen just now on Reddit:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

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