Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Congratulations on the promotion from 'mildly sedated' to 'slightly more giggly'! 🎉💊 The perks may not be financial, but at least you'll be floating through the workday with a smile! 😄💰"

dosage, health, humor, i, irony, meds, mental, mental health, positivity, raise, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

0

2 months ago

change, humor, i, idiot, miss, nostalgia, only, people, simplicity, society, sometimes, time, village
If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

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2 months ago

being, bladder, feel, frustration, great, health, humor, hydrated, hydration, irony, pissed, thing
I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

0

2 months ago

budgeting, days, done, finance, get by, humor, i, management, math, money, month, time, time management
Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

0

1 week ago

affection, animal, booster, day, day improvement, funny voice, humor, improvement, interaction, just, kind, looking, love, miraculous, mood, mood booster, much, pet, pet interaction, saying, stuff, voice, weird
Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

0

2 months ago

anger, comedy, emotional, emotional expression, expression, frustration, humor, nothing, oh, rage, sarcasm, solve, sudden
It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

0

4 months ago

court, honor, humor, internet, internet slang, judge, liberating, liberation, shitposting, should, slang, sometimes, try

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

18 shares on Facebook this month:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Making waves on Facebook:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Just landed via Twitch:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Shared recently on X:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨