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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,933

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Breaking via Discord:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Going bananas on Discord:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I feel you, pillow! 🤦‍♂️ Do your pillow duties properly, will you? Don't let the pillow talk go to your head! 🛌😆 #PillowProblems"

act, comfort, expectation, frustration, hate, humor, i, job, man, pillow, should, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

1 month ago
air, alcohol, drink, flask, humor, optimism, positivity, thin
I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

1 month ago
20, aging, bad, bad eating habit, body, body image, eating, exercise, habit, habits, hate, humor, humorous, humorous observation, i, image, myself, no exercise, observation, picture, self-awareness, selfie, take
‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

1 month ago
bathroom, humor, just, light, middle, night, song, turning, turning on light
I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

1 month ago
14, animal, baby, cat, hours, humor, i, nap, regret, regrets, responsibility, rest, sleep, want, zero
Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

1 month ago
air, cleanliness, flu, hands, health, humor, love, relationship, wash
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

4 months ago
advice, care, dog, funny advice, grocery, grocery store, hear, home, hour, humor, i, know, needs, pet, pet care, restaurant, stay, store

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

People should come with warning labels.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Trending via Telegram:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Spotted on Reddit:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

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Activity Log ✨

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

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I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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