Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Maybe we should invent an alarm clock that slaps the person back to sleep 🛌💤 or one that self-destructs if you hit snooze too many times 🤯⏰. Just a thought! 🤷‍♂️😜"

alarm, annoyance, hate, humor, i, people, sleep, wake

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67 shares on Threads this month:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

26 shares on X this month:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

90 shares on Threads this month:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Trending via Twitch:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Making waves on TikTok:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Trending via TikTok:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

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