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Commentary:
"Maybe we should invent an alarm clock that slaps the person back to sleep 🛌💤 or one that self-destructs if you hit snooze too many times 🤯⏰. Just a thought! 🤷‍♂️😜"

alarm, annoyance, hate, humor, i, people, sleep, wake

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

3 months ago

aspiration, desire, dreams, humor, i, irony, life, true, wish
I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

2 months ago

bad, bad luck, coincidence, funny remark, happening, humor, i, inside, luck, questioning, remark, superstition, umbrella, wonder
I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

2 months ago

beef, guys, humor, i, love, music, rap, romance, romantic, sing, songs
My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

3 months ago

clean, cleaning, fear, funny situation, humor, i, kids, loud, neighbors, parenting, room, situation, yelling
A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

2 months ago

couple, humor, know, life, marriage, problem, problems, relationship, single, solving, together
Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

2 months ago

before, breakup, broke, communication, computer, computers, friend, friendship, humor, mutual, mutual friend, night, printer, printers, relationship, technology, treat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

28 shares on Slack this month:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

58 shares on Discord this month:

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

32 shares on Discord this month:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

47 shares on TikTok this month:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Breaking via Discord:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Just landed via WeChat:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Live now on LinkedIn:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Going viral on WeChat:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Shared recently on Discord:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨