I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Commentary:
“Who knew my thoughts were such chatterboxes? 🗣️🎙️ Now I’ve got a mind full of influencers! 🤯 #PodcastMania”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, coffee, the liquid motivation that turns ‘I can’t’ into ‘I can’t even without you.’ Here’s to conquering today, one sip at a time!”

  • Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

    Commentary:
    “Women are like human calculators, knowing their kids’ stats down to the decimal point, while men are just trying to keep up with the tiny tornadoes running amok in the house 🤷‍♂️📆. Who needs detailed info when you’ve got chaos and cuteness in equal measure?”

  • First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

    Commentary:
    “Nothing says ‘getting to know you’ like comparing polyps! 🎈💑 Who needs candlelit dinners when you can have colonoscopies together? 🕯️💩 #RelationshipGoals 😂”

  • If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

    Commentary:
    Oops, so you drunk-texted your ex, huh? 🍷📱 Don’t panic! Just channel your inner hacker and flood their inbox with Bitcoin ads like a pro! 💻💰 Who said alcohol and technology don’t mix well? 🤣 #HackYourWayOutOfAWildNight

  • All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

    Commentary:
    Looks like this person really balcony-blocked themselves from making the right decisions! 🏠😂 Maybe they should invest in a megaphone or a drone for some high-flying communication tactics! 📢🚁

  • When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

    Commentary:
    Looks like a routine check-up turns into a family affair 🩺👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Don’t mess with the blood pressure machine – it’s a group activity now! 😂 #FamilyHealthChecks #TeamEffort