Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Oh, so that's the new formula for seven years of bad luck? 😂 Sounds like you've upgraded from just breaking mirrors to breaking waters! 🤰👶 Better stock up on those extra-large bedsheets! 🛏️ #ParentingStruggles

bed, broke, broken, chaos, family, humor, i, kids, mirror, motherhood, parenting, sleep, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

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2 months ago

coming, humor, life, mouth, music, nostalgia, right, smash, Smash Mouth, start, stop, time, year’s
When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

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3 months ago

again, door, humor, life, motivation, open, persistence, work
They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

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2 months ago

activity, bull, combine, competition, de, event, france, humor, next, running, should, sport, tour, Tour de France, year
I’m tired of things costing money.

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2 months ago

cost, expense, financial, humor, money, sarcasm, things, tired
Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

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2 months ago

advice, book, buy, humor, irony, joke, psychology, reverse, reverse psychology, writing
I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

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2 months ago

book, confusion, decor, feng, Feng Shui, home, home decor, humor, i, irony, know, placement, put, shui, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on X this month:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

19 shares on Threads this month:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

39 shares on TikTok this month:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Making waves on TikTok:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Broadcasted on X:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Just shared via Twitch:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Trending via Threads:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Just landed via Telegram:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

I’m tired of things costing money.

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨