Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.