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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Just shared via X:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Just landed via TikTok:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Just shared via Reddit:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Making waves on WeChat:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Making waves on YouTube:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Making waves on Discord:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Funny quote about longing for wealth to avoid fake productivity efforts.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of looking busy without actually doing much. 💼💤 Who needs work when you're too busy planning how to spend your future millions? 💰😂 #RelatableGoals"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on X this month:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

19 shares on Discord this month:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss you when I wake up before you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Just landed via Threads:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Trending via TikTok:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Just shared via Reddit:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Trending via Threads:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

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