Commentary:
Trying not to draw battle lines at the dinner table—Godspeed! 🙏😅
45 Funny pretend quotes
There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.
Commentary:
Just make sure your "boss" doesn't accidentally mention how you used to entertain the whole "office" with karaoke Fridays! 🎤😂
My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.
Commentary:
When you spot someone you know and suddenly become an undercover agent on a top-secret mission 🕵️♂️🤫😂
Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?
Commentary:
Trying to laugh at a video you can't even see properly is the ultimate test of friendship 😂📱🔍
Life is way too short to pretend you’re not into some freaky stuff.
Commentary:
Embrace your inner weirdo, life’s too short to be normal! 😜🤪✨
Sometimes I shower in the dark and pretend I’m in a rainforest on an alien planet.
Commentary:
Exploring new planets while conserving energy—NASA should take notes! 🚿👽🌧️
If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.
Commentary:
When your coffee shop goes full analog, just remember: I'm bringing my typewriter and asking for the "smoking section" 😂☕️📜
What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.
Commentary:
This explains why the kids keep dropping hints that Santa needs a GPS upgrade! 🎅🗺️😄
How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?
Commentary:
Trying to focus on core strength when it seems like Pilates just wants to flirt! 😜💪🧘♀️
Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?
Commentary:
Just practicing my Oscar-winning performance of "Oh, for me? I couldn't possibly… okay, just one!" 😇🍪🎭