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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,725

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Going viral on WeChat:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Just landed via Slack:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Trending via TikTok:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Going viral on YouTube:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Breaking via Telegram:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Just landed via X:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Trending via Facebook:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

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I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.
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Commentary:
"Who needs a magician when you've got an umbrella? 🌂✨ Rainy day hack: the ultimate invisibility cloak! 😂☔️ #HeadlessInSeattle"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Threads this month:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating healthy requires a second job.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,676

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Trending via Facebook:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Trending via Slack:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Trending via Twitch:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Going viral on X:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Just landed via TikTok:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Trending via Reddit:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

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