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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

729 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,891

Funny Quotes Topics

13,867

Funny Quotes Images

10,891

51 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Live now on Slack:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Breaking via Discord:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Just shared via X:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Seen just now on Threads:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

6 months ago

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the sky finally sorted out its identity crisis! 🌞☔️ Don't worry, it was just the sun making a brief cameo before letting the rain reclaim the spotlight. Mother Nature's just keeping things interesting! 🌦️ #WeatherDrama

again, broken, funny observation, humor, i, nature, observation, rain, sky, thing, thought, weather, weird, well, yellow, yellow thing

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

729 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,891

Funny Quotes Topics

13,867

Funny Quotes Images

10,891

51 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Going viral on Reddit:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Spotted on Reddit:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Spotted on Pinterest:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Reported on Messenger:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Reported on Facebook:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

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