Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Shared recently on Telegram:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Making waves on Facebook:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Making waves on Telegram:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Freshly posted on X:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Spotted on Discord:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

0
I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you're introverted but still want to let people know you’re cool: "It's not you, it's me… and my love for sweatpants and Netflix! 😎🛋️📺"

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

25 shares on Instagram this month:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Trending via Instagram:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Just shared via WeChat:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Just shared via Messenger:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Trending via Snapchat:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴