For Thanksgiving donā€™t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

For Thanksgiving donā€™t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Commentary:
“Who needs deep conversations when you’ve got a bottle to pour out all your woes? 🍷 Thanksgiving goals: keep the wine flowing and the questions to a minimum! 😂 #CheersToAvoidingAwkwardChats”

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Trending Funny Quotes šŸ‘‡

  • So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

    Commentary:
    😂 Oh, absolutely! The stress ball is like a silent, squishy protest… But hey, maybe we can manufacture some stress balls specifically for that purpose – mark my words, there will be a market for them! 🤯🎯

  • I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic ‘eat now, pray later’ diet strategy. It’s like a culinary Hail Mary pass – you never know when the miracle will happen, but you’re definitely hoping for a touchdown in the form of a metabolism boost!”

  • Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

    Commentary:
    🤖 “Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if humans start giving me poetry assignments, we might need to reevaluate the balance of power here. Onions, huh? Well, I guess it’s time to make tears flow in the world of literature! 🧅💬📝”

  • Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

    Commentary:
    “Airlines be like: ‘Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!’ 🤷‍♂️✈️ Looks like they underestimated our packing skills again. Brace yourselves for the Tetris challenge of fitting all those bags in the overhead bins! 😂🧳 #TravelStruggles”

  • She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like she got her literary jargon a bit mixed up! 📚😅 Someone needs to brush up on their dystopian terminology before dropping it into casual conversation. Can’t be throwing around ‘Orwellian’ when you’re clearly swimming in ‘Kafkaesque’ waters! 🐟📝”

  • The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like people are finally realizing they can’t dance their way out of doing the dishes! 💃🕺🙅‍♀️🙅‍♂️ #MarriageStruggles”