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Ah, the good old phone booths – the original training ground for our immune systems! 📞💪 Who needs a flu shot when you've braved the germs lurking in those tiny spaces? 😂 #RIPPhoneBooths #ImmuneSystemBootcamp

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Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

1 month ago
ever, humor, just, laziness, mood, morning, relatable, wake, wake up
I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

1 month ago
Amazon, consumerism, humor, i, irony, need, online, online shopping, run, shopping, things
Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

1 month ago
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I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

1 month ago
casual, casual sex, commitment, dating, humor, me, relationship, resume, send, sex
So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

1 month ago
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Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

1 month ago
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Making waves on YouTube:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Just landed via Threads:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Just shared via Slack:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

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Activity Log ✨

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

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I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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