Trendy Funny Quotes

  • If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.
  • I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.
  • If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.
  • I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.
  • Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.
  • Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.