Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

293 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,562

Funny Quotes Topics

17,616

Funny Quotes Images

15,562

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Seen just now on Discord:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Spotted on Facebook:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Trending via Slack:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Seen just now on Slack:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Live now on Slack:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Confidence is clearly on a weight-loss program whenever my math homework is involved! 📝💪😂

after, confidence, eraser, every, humor, i, joke, mistake, smaller, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

1 month ago

Amazon, cart, confirmation, confirmation email, delay, delivery, email, expectation, expectation vs reality, humor, just, kidding, lol, online, online shopping, order, reality, shipping, shipping delay, shopping, today, tomorrow, vs, week
My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

2 months ago

being, day, elected, goal, humor, irony, me, office, political, prevent, self sabotage, thing
Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

2 months ago

appointment, before, care, cramming, day, dental, dental care, dentist, floss, history, humor, i, procrastination, test
I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

2 months ago

afraid, alive, everyone, fear, ghost, ghosts, humor, mad, me, relationships, still
Diabetes was the God of sugar.

2 months ago

diabetes, God, health, humor, irony, sugar, sweetness
I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

3 months ago

birthday, cake, celebration, eat, excuse, food, fun, humor, i, indulgence

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Discord this month:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Oh good. Another day.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Trending via Threads:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Just landed via Facebook:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Spotted on Telegram:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Shared recently on Slack:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨