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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Seen just now on X:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Seen just now on Threads:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Just shared via Twitch:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Just landed via Threads:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

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I need to start hiding my money from myself.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic hide-and-seek game between you and your own wallet! 🕵️‍♂️💸 Who will outwit whom in this battle of financial espionage? Maybe try stashing your money in a place so secret, even you can't find it! 🤑🔍 #MoneyMystery"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

96 shares on X this month:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

82 shares on TikTok this month:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Just shared via YouTube:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Going viral on X:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Trending via TikTok:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

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