Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Trending via Pinterest:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Making waves on Facebook:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Spotted on Twitch:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Spotted on YouTube:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Just shared via Twitch:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I've been thinking so much this year, I'm starting to wonder if my brain has a workout playlist. 🧠💪😂

date, humor, i, joke, much, never, thinking, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

0

2 months ago

accident, animals, buy, car, funny situation, giant, going, humor, humor about animals, new, situation, spider, unexpected, vehicle
The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

0

2 months ago

cheat, education, ex, exam, humor, i, school, study
I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

0

2 months ago

debt, financial, financial humor, help, humor, i, job, math, me, planning, procrastination, responsibility, second, start, time, timing, work
I have more trips planned than I have money.

0

2 months ago

budget, finance, humor, i, money, planned, planning, travel, trip
I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

0

2 months ago

blood, call, cravings, eat, emotions, everything, everywhere, feel, huge, humor, i, me, menstruation, people, period, scared, shark, Shark week, snapping, want, week
“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

0

2 months ago

absolutely, anywhere, going, going out, humor, i, laziness, life, life stage, motivation, obligation, point, stage, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Threads this month:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

86 shares on Slack this month:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

31 shares on Instagram this month:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Going viral on X:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Just landed via X:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Trending via TikTok:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Shared recently on Facebook:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Going viral on Reddit:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Just shared via Threads:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

I have more trips planned than I have money.

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨