Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Live now on Instagram:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Going bananas on YouTube:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Live now on Messenger:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Making waves on TikTok:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Spotted on Messenger:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Your tweet didn't move, so I called tech support, and they just laughed. 🤷‍♂️🦥🐦

hoping, humor, i, interaction, media, poke, social, social media, something, stick, tweet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

0

3 months ago

airplane, airport, asked, humor, husband, misunderstanding, seat, seats, travel, where, wife
Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

0

2 months ago

being, clothing, congratulations, disgust, fashion, humor, name, piece, sweater, year
“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

0

2 months ago

am, communication, doing, email, finds, found, hope, humor, i, irony, me, sarcasm, unwell, well, workplace
Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

0

6 months ago

dating, finding, funny story, guy, humor, i, interaction, lived, match, neighbor, neighborhood, once, outside, scream, social, social interaction, story, told
I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

0

4 months ago

alone, bad, ball, company, enjoy, enjoyment, feel, feeling, feeling bad, fun, having, having fun, i, myself, own, self, self company, self enjoyment
The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

0

2 months ago

birth, birth preparation, breathing, breathing exercise, child, course, exercise, humor, once, parenting, preparation, puberty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on YouTube this month:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

14 shares on Discord this month:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Making waves on Telegram:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Going viral on YouTube:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Trending via Twitch:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Shared recently on X:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Spotted on Discord:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨