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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Aura is the real business card.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Jan 7, 2026

3,725

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Trending via Slack:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Trending via LinkedIn:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Going viral on Instagram:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Going viral on Messenger:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Just landed via Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

2 months ago

0

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the moon, so elusive and camera-shy 🌛📱 It's like the original influencer, demanding only the best lighting and angles for its close-up! Just imagine the moon saying, "If it's not taken with a telescope, then I'm not interested" 😄 #MoonMood #PhoneCameraFail

humor, i, irony, moon, phone, photograph, respect, unwillingness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, humor, mistakes, recap, reflection, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, wrapped, year
“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

0

2 months ago

affection, dealer, drug, drug dealer, family, gap, generational, generational gap, grandma, hand, humor, joke, love, man, money
Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

0

3 weeks ago

anything, bright, Christmas, done, fog, humor, improve, nose, red, red nose, reindeer, Rudolph, Santa, visibility
Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

0

2 months ago

chicken, dinner, eat, egg, family, food, humor, i, joke, wanted, whole
At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

0

2 months ago

30, 30s, age, battery, charge, energy, even, exhaustion, hours, humor, me, midday, old, phone
That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, di, dish, dishes, doing, doing di, funny situation, humor, moment, procrastination, put, sink, situation, social, social situation, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

94 shares on Discord this month:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

39 shares on Discord this month:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My dream car is a taco truck.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment between birth and death.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Spotted on Slack:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Just shared via X:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Spotted on Discord:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Just landed via X:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Just landed via YouTube:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Spotted on TikTok:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Just shared via Slack:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

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