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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

I havenโ€™t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

Iโ€™m sorry if I seem weird, itโ€™s because I am.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ has viewed:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

887 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,049

Funny Quotes Topics

13,986

Funny Quotes Images

11,049

Updated

32 seconds ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on LinkedIn:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Making waves on Twitch:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Just landed via WeChat:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Going viral on TikTok:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said โ€œeww what a horrible way to liveโ€

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Seen just now on X:

The economyโ€™s so tough, people out here eating grass โ€” matcha.

Just shared via Snapchat:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, Iโ€™m 4 people.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

That song stuck in my head is โ€œDonโ€™t Speakโ€; I have no doubt in my mind.

Just shared via YouTube:

Donโ€™t talk to me about regrets if youโ€™ve never had someoneโ€™s name tattooed on you.

Breaking via Twitch:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

I sign all anniversary cards with โ€˜Way to commit to the bit!โ€™

I sign all anniversary cards with โ€˜Way to commit to the bit!โ€™
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Talk about the ultimate 'long-term commitment'! ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ‘ Nothing says 'I love you' quite like sticking with the joke through thick and thin! ๐Ÿ’Œ๐Ÿ’ #RelationshipGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology think time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

887 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,049

Funny Quotes Topics

13,986

Funny Quotes Images

11,049

Updated

32 seconds ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ต has bookmarked:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Sorry Iโ€™m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Iโ€™m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on WeChat:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Spotted on Facebook:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Shared recently on Slack:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Spotted on Twitch:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Just landed via Threads:

Iโ€™m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Shared recently on Threads:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when itโ€™s the opposite in reality.

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