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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

โ€œHey you!โ€ is short for โ€œI have no idea what your name is.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

I hope the aliens arenโ€™t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has viewed:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1126 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,288

Funny Quotes Topics

14,194

Funny Quotes Images

11,288

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Live now on TikTok:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said itโ€™s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think itโ€™s the vodka.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I donโ€™t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Shared recently on Discord:

If your drinking story doesnโ€™t involve law enforcement, Iโ€™m not listening.

Just shared via Telegram:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Spotted on Threads:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, โ€œIโ€™ve been to a gift shop.โ€

Trending via Discord:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that youโ€™re thermostatically compatible with.

Breaking via Twitch:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between wanting to be mysterious and the inability to filter our thoughts! ๐Ÿค It's like trying to keep a lid on a pot of boiling pasta… you know it's gonna spill over eventually! ๐Ÿ˜œ Embrace your inner chatterbox, my friend – your honesty is the real mystery! ๐Ÿคซโœจ"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1126 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,288

Funny Quotes Topics

14,194

Funny Quotes Images

11,288

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Iโ€™d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has copied:

Iโ€™m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Iโ€™ve named my couch American Idle.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, Iโ€™m on my own page.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

Thatโ€™s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on WeChat:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Trending via Threads:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Going viral on Facebook:

I hope this email kills us both.

Just landed via Twitch:

Everyoneโ€™s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Reported on TikTok:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Just landed via Twitch:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Trending via Pinterest:

Youโ€™re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage thatโ€™s why itโ€™s called a chest.

Making waves on Facebook:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

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