Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.
  • Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.
  • Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.
  • Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.
  • My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.
  • When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.