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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Making waves on Snapchat:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Making waves on Twitch:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Spotted on WeChat:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Planning for children? Make it a short and sweet affair – two days max! 😂👶 #ParentingGoals"

children, commitment, day, days, family, humor, i, love, parenting, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

2 months ago

activity, baseball, broke, fight, game, humor, i, joke, sports, unexpected, yesterday
I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

1 month ago

actors, comedy, feelings, fun, humor, i, kissing, movie, reaction, romantic, said, strong, subtitles, surprise, unexpected, while
I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

1 month ago

chance, conflict, humor, irony, luck, mind, violence
Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

1 month ago

back, coming, comparison, dysfunctional, dysfunctional family, family, humor, media, return, returning, social, social media, Twitter
When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

1 month ago

appreciate, challenge, distraction, escape, exam, hard, humor, nature, outdoor, school, stress, window
Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

1 month ago

air, cleanliness, flu, hands, health, humor, love, relationship, wash

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Making waves on Slack:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Making waves on X:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

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I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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