Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive perfect parent – armed with a library of child-rearing books but not a diaper in sight! 📚💁‍♂️ Who needs real-life experience when you've got all the theories, right?! 😂 #ParentingGoals"

child, children, humor, irony, parent, parenting, perfect, perfection, person, theory

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

2 weeks ago

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Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

1 week ago

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New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

2 weeks ago

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Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

1 week ago

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I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

4 weeks ago

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The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

2 weeks ago

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Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on WeChat this month:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Making waves on Slack:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Keep the laugh going 😂

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨