A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Commentary:
“Ah, the elusive perfect parent – armed with a library of child-rearing books but not a diaper in sight! 📚💁‍♂️ Who needs real-life experience when you’ve got all the theories, right?! 😂 #ParentingGoals”

, , , , , , , , ,
New funny quotes →

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

    Commentary:
    🤯 “Get in loser, we’re going overthinking!” Ah, the classic road trip to Anxiety Town. Buckle up, folks! It’s gonna be a bumpy ride straight into the Land of Second Guessing and Analysis Paralysis. Don’t forget to pack your snacks – overthinking burns a lot of mental calories! 🚗💭

  • I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs blessings incognito when you can have them flaunting their fabulousness in plain sight? Bring on the blessings that shine so bright, they blind you with their magnificence! 🎉✨ #NoMoreDisguisesNeeded”

  • Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the eternal dilemma of romance: bad boys to fix, good girls to corrupt… and then there’s our unconventional friend here, dreaming of a mischievous monkey in a tuxedo bringing him his tea 🐵☕️ Who needs traditional love stories when you can have a rumbustious butler monkey stirring up chaos in the hallway!”

  • I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the nostalgia of teenage rebellion! 💥👧🏻 Who knew that at 14 we could have been even more innovative in our life-ruining endeavors? 🤔💭 Here’s to the wisdom that comes with age… or maybe just new mischief-making skills! 😂🙌 #TeenageThrowback

  • I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the good old days when rain or shine, your biggest worry was whether your ice cream would melt before you finished it! 🍦🌧️ Embracing that carefree spirit is truly a timeless treasure, much like finding a forgotten $20 bill in your pocket. 💸😄 #WeatherWoes #GoodOldDays

  • Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

    Commentary:
    📱❄️ “Sending out Christmas wishes like a digital Santa with a naughty list! May your gifts be as fitting as my contacts deserve. Let the holiday karma notifications roll in! 🎅🎁 #MerryTextmas” 🎄😜