If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

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Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

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Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

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Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

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I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

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That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

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Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

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I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.