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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

I think thereโ€™s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Itโ€™s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡จ has viewed:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

I cannot definitively say, even after all Iโ€™ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has shared:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via X:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Spotted on X:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Going viral on WeChat:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Seriously, how sexy was Freudโ€™s mom?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Trending via Reddit:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Clever and playful quote about love and choice, with a humorous, cheeky vibe.
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Commentary:
"Remember, nothing says 'unique' quite like making someone cry in a sea of smiles. ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜ญ #StandOut"

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

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Social Media Stars โญ

70 shares on Slack this month:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

I only use โ€˜sirโ€™ disrespectfully.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. Itโ€™s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, canโ€™t make it, just remembered I donโ€™t want to.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

The best thing about the internet is that youโ€™re never the dumbest one here.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Not now, Iโ€™m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Clueless but committed – thatโ€™s my vibe.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ has copied:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

Nobody cleans better than someone whoโ€™s pissed off.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didnโ€™t want her to know.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but itโ€™s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Newborns cry because theyโ€™re being evicted.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Just shared via Facebook:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Just landed via Telegram:

Iโ€™m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Live now on Twitch:

โ€œMale loneliness epidemicโ€ and itโ€™s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Live now on LinkedIn:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by โ€œYou complete me.โ€

Just landed via Snapchat:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Live now on Pinterest:

Why do men have birthdays? Itโ€™s not like theyโ€™re growing up.

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