Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Just landed via Messenger:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Freshly posted on X:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Shared recently on Threads:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Trending via Snapchat:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Going bananas on Discord:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Going viral on Threads:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Breaking via Snapchat:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Just landed via X:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, nothing says 'unique' quite like making someone cry in a sea of smiles. 😄😭 #StandOut"

cry, different, girl, humor, love, relationship, smile

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New year update: losing everything but weight.

0

2 months ago

change, everything, fitness, humor, losing, new, new year, resolution, update, weight, year
I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

0

2 months ago

bodyguard, bullet, friendship, humor, love, loyalty, protection, sacrifice
Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

0

3 months ago

actually, cannibal, capture, feeding, food, getting, humor, irony, joke, me, survival, terrifying, thought, unexpected, well
I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

0

2 months ago

6am, 9pm, after, age, am, answered, humorous, i, late, late night, night, old, response, sleep, text
If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

0

2 months ago

close, comedy, door, haunted, house, humor, open
Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

0

2 months ago

Antarctica, ants, continent, every, except, found, humor, name, nature, observation, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Trending via Reddit:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Live now on Messenger:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Just shared via TikTok:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Seen just now on X:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Just shared via TikTok:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

New year update: losing everything but weight.

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨