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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Spotted on Reddit:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Making waves on Twitch:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Just shared via Threads:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Shared recently on Slack:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Just shared via YouTube:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Just shared via Reddit:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

1 month ago

Clever and playful quote about love and choice, with a humorous, cheeky vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, nothing says 'unique' quite like making someone cry in a sea of smiles. 😄😭 #StandOut"

cry, different, girl, humor, love, relationship, smile

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Going viral on WeChat:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Breaking via WeChat:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Just landed via Facebook:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Just shared via Messenger:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨