Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Just shared via TikTok:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Making waves on Snapchat:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Spotted on Twitch:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Trending via Twitch:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like Salt-N-Pepa is my sign to quietly exit the party before I start busting moves nobody asked for! 🚪💃🥴

dance, drinking, home, humor, me, music, nightlife, party, playing, push, song, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

0

2 months ago

activity, away, cream, escape, ever, fun, fun activity, humor, ice, ice cream, ice cream van, me, problems, running, treat, van
How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

0

2 months ago

corporate, corporate job, day, email, fake, fake job, home, humor, i, job, jobs, laptop, lazy, lazy work, life, office, office humor, open, outlook, paid, remote, remote work, responding, whatever, where, work, work from home, work life
Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

0

4 months ago

amusement, chaos, circus, fondness, grown, humor, monkey
I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, furniture, humor, i, IKEA, interview, joke, manager, me, saying, seat, seating, situation, workplace
Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

0

2 months ago

came, control, discover, exercise, fitness, humor, i, laziness, recliner, remote, remote control, run, running, surprise, treadmill
That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

0

2 months ago

crowded, humor, irony, joke, nobody, place, sarcasm, situation, social, social situation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

75 shares on Discord this month:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Just shared via Instagram:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Going viral on TikTok:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Just landed via Twitch:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨