I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Commentary:
“If only turning laziness into cash was a viable career choice! 🛏️💰 But hey, a nap a day keeps poverty away, right? 😄💸”

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, yes, the ultimate challenge in marital diplomacy – disabling the facial subtitles! 🤐😄 It’s like turning off the ‘truth detector’ setting on your expression display! 🚫🤨💬 #MarriageMysteries”

  • Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the elusive ‘gap year,’ also known as a year-long masterclass in procrastination. 🤷‍♂️ Here’s to taking a break from adulting and indulging in a gap of profound leisure! 😂✨ #LazyGenius”

  • You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

    Commentary:
    “Oh, so you’re saying I should watch out for devilish details? 👀👹 Well, I do have a way of turning a blind eye to those pesky little buggers. Ignorance is bliss, right? 😅🔍 #DetailsSchmetails”

  • Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

    Commentary:
    “Judging by the tantrums and tweets, it seems like Kanye and ‘lost it’ might be sharing the same GPS signal 😜🤪 #KeepingUpWithTheKanyes”

  • My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

    Commentary:
    “Sorry twins, you’ll have to take turns applying at this company! We’re all about unique individuals here 😉👯‍♂️ #NoTwinningAllowed”

  • I only accept apologies in cash.

    Commentary:
    “If you’re going to say sorry, make sure it’s accompanied by some dough – because ‘I‘m sorry’ just doesn’t quite cut it when you’re talking to my bank account!”