If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.