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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Just landed via X:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Going viral on Reddit:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Making waves on Slack:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Trending via WeChat:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, seems like someone is aiming for that 'nuclear-powered toaster' vibe in their kitchen 🚀🏠 #HomeSweetFission"

energy, enough, house, humor, irony, nuclear, nuclear reactor, power, reactor, small, submarine, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share → : Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.
5 months ago
Share → : Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.
6 months ago
Share → : Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?
5 months ago
Share → : I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?
6 months ago
Share → : Never miss a good chance to shut up.
4 months ago
Share → : Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.
6 months ago
Share → : Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.
2 months ago
Share → : Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Breaking via Telegram:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Breaking via YouTube:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Trending via Instagram:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Spotted on Telegram:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Breaking via Slack:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

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If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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