Commentary:
Yawning: the universal symbol for "Oops, my brain is on screensaver mode" 😴🧠💬
57 Funny small quotes
Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’
Commentary:
Sending a sloth gif and waiting for them to agree might just be the most adorable power move ever 🦥😂
I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.
Commentary:
Not sure if I'm deep in thought or just buffering… 🤔😅 #AwkwardSilence
My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.
Commentary:
When my phone rings, it's either a scammer or my toaster is finally asking for relationship advice! 📞🤖🍞
Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.
Commentary:
Looks like I'm on the "bright" list this year! 😆🔆🎅
Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.
Commentary:
Every night is just another chance for my anxiety to throw a party and forget to invite sleep! 🎉😅💼
Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.
Commentary:
Just waiting for the elevator to reach the "Next Time, Press the Close Door Button Faster" floor 😂🚪🕴️
If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.
Commentary:
I guess I need to "chat" more often if I want to fit into my skinny jeans! 😂🗣️🔥
I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.
Commentary:
"Fun fact about me: I once survived an icebreaker by using 'um' as a flotation device! 😅🧊🚤"
Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.
Commentary:
Feels like finding a unicorn in my calendar! 🦄⏰ Now, what to do with this magical bonus time? 😆✨