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Commentary:
"Who needs a cuddle buddy when you have creepy creatures lurking in the shadows? Let the monster under the bed keep you company tonight! 🌌👻 #LonelyButSpooky"

activity, company, entertainment, fear, fun, fun activity, horror, horror movie, isolation, lights, lonely, movie, put, solitude

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

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5 months ago

addiction, alcohol, celebrity, drug, drugs, give, humor, joke, keith, Keith Richards, life, longevity, richards, take
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

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2 months ago

attitude, control, everything, expectations, flexibility, humor, i, irony, want
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

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2 months ago

creativity, humor, i, multitasking, octopus, people, slap, wish
The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

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2 months ago

date, facial, facial recognition, humor, i, irony, me, phone, phones, recognition, relationship, technology, think
One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

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2 months ago

6, adulthood, appointment, appointments, closing, closing time, every, full, full-time job, i, job, management, never, place, schedule, thing, time, time management, understand, work
Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

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2 months ago

act, back, cry, habit, invited, meetings, never, unhinged

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

95 shares on X this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Just shared via Facebook:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Spotted on Threads:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Making waves on Threads:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Spotted on Telegram:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨