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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,280

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Happiness is an inside job.

Making waves on Slack:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Going bananas on Slack:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Going viral on Twitch:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Trending via Slack:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

2 months ago

0

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, you don't like sports? You're missing out on all the opportunities to bond with strangers over the pain of your favorite team losing! 🤣🏈 Don't worry, we can still chat about the weather or complain about Mondays instead! ☀️😩"

activity, complete, conversations, easy-going, fun, fun activity, missing, socializing, sports, strangers, whole, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

0

2 months ago

bit, client, court, distraction, honor, humor, joke, legal, little, phone, play
I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

0

3 months ago

bed, bed hogging, cat, hell, hogging, humor, i, love, mattress, much, pet, queen-size, queen-size mattress, size, sleep, small, small size, take
(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

0

5 months ago

boys, hope, humor, i, milkshake, own, playful, playful teasing, teasing, yard
Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

0

2 months ago

AI, app, dating, experience, humor, i, let, machines, me, modern, modern experience, place, relationship, robot, suffer, suffering, technology, Tinder, want
White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

0

2 months ago

buddy, disrespect, guy, guys, humor, respect, slur, stereotype, white, white guy
Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

0

3 months ago

addiction, analogy, app, cigarette, habit, humor, lighting, opening

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WeChat this month:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

91 shares on Telegram this month:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

52 shares on X this month:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

11 shares on Threads this month:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

85 shares on X this month:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

39 shares on Threads this month:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,393

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Just landed via Telegram:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Just landed via X:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Spotted on Twitch:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Making waves on YouTube:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Just shared via WeChat:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Making waves on Discord:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Just shared via Telegram:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴