If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.