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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'Keep you as a spare' – perfect for emotional emergencies and relationship punctures! 🧯 Better stock up on love and kindness, just in case you get called into action! 💔😅"

care, commitment, dating, humor, keep, love, relationship, show, spare

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

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2 months ago

am, exclaiming, expression, good, greeting, horror, humor, i, mean, morning, sarcasm, say
The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

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2 months ago

always, confidence, humor, i, know, last, laugh, laughter, me, mischievous, oh, personality, playful, sarcasm, self-assured, thing, witty, yes
80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

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3 months ago

American, Americans, attitude, confidence, humor, just, motivation, put, say, sunglasses, want
Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

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2 months ago

communication, connection, dating, distance, humor, long distance, love, relationship, relationships, truly, trust, work
Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

0

2 months ago

call, dance, humor, Macarena, morning, music
Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

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2 months ago

AI, AI failure, awesome, criticism, environmental, environmental impact, failure, Google, Google AI, humor, impact, innovation, planet, sarcasm, technology, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Threads this month:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stop dating if you have no car.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Making waves on X:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Going viral on Slack:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Just landed via Reddit:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Just shared via Twitch:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Just shared via Slack:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Just shared via Discord:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Breaking via TikTok:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨