Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

My lips could use some attention today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Just shared via YouTube:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Going viral on WeChat:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Going viral on Twitch:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Trending via Messenger:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Just shared via Threads:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Going viral on Facebook:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"You know you're in trouble when forgetting your wife's birthday feels like playing a dangerous game of memory roulette! 🎲💔 Mark those calendars, gentlemen! #LivingOnTheEdge"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Telegram this month:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

75 shares on Discord this month:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

99 shares on Threads this month:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

49 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,544

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Making waves on Discord:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Spotted on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Going viral on X:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Trending via Reddit:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Just landed via TikTok:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Spotted on Messenger:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Spotted on X:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

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