Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Shared recently on Instagram:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Spotted on X:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Going viral on Threads:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Going viral on YouTube:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Breaking via Twitch:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Spotted on Reddit:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your spirit animal is a nap-loving sloth but your schedule says "early bird" 🦥⏰🥴

humor, just, person, personality, sleepiness, sleepy, times, timing, tired, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

0

2 months ago

curse, curse word, family, funny moment, moment, music, play, realization, song, word, words
Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

0

2 months ago

counter, eating, flamingo, kitchen, kitchen counter, standing, vibe, watermelon
My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

0

2 months ago

better, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, favorite, humor, irony, optimism, sarcasm, theory, things
I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

0

2 months ago

80s, ambition, Congress, hit, humor, i, politics, retirement, run, running, wait
Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

0

2 months ago

food, gangster, humor, irony, pronounce, pronunciation, sauce, time, worcestershire, Worcestershire sauce
My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

0

2 months ago

accomplishment, comedy, culture, done, family, fan, here, humor, monty, Monty Python, parenting, pop, pop culture, python, son, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

37 shares on Slack this month:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

72 shares on WeChat this month:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

51 shares on YouTube this month:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Going viral on TikTok:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Seen just now on Discord:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Spotted on Slack:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Going bananas on Discord:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Just landed via Discord:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨