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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

293 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,562

Funny Quotes Topics

17,616

Funny Quotes Images

15,562

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Making waves on Messenger:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Trending via TikTok:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Trending via Twitch:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Going viral on WeChat:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Live now on WeChat:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Going viral on Discord:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.
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Commentary:
Winter's coming and my iron levels are already packing their bags! 🧥❄️🥶

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Slack this month:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

81 shares on X this month:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

37 shares on Threads this month:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been an unread email.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

293 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,562

Funny Quotes Topics

17,616

Funny Quotes Images

15,562

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Making waves on Instagram:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Going viral on Telegram:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Just shared via Instagram:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Spotted on Twitch:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Just landed via Instagram:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Spotted on TikTok:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Making waves on Telegram:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

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