Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Come on over and let's be antisocial together! 📱😂 Who needs face-to-face conversations when we've got phone screens to keep us company, am I right? #ModernGathering"

fun, gathering, humor, invite, later, party, people, phones, social, stare, want

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52 shares on Discord this month:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

11 shares on Slack this month:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

57 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

20 shares on Threads this month:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Just landed via Discord:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Shared recently on Slack:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Just landed via Discord:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Trending via Facebook:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Just shared via WeChat:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨