I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!