Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Social media is mental suicide.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,802

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Going viral on Threads:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Live now on X:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Just shared via Messenger:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Freshly posted on Slack:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Spotted on X:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday 😅☕️ #WeekendWishfulThinking

asking, Friday, front, girl, humor, just, longing, Monday, procrastination, standing, weekend, workweek

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

1 week ago
body, crazy, digestion, dinner, humor, organ, organs, poop
It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

1 month ago
cake, craving, dessert, fridge, hard, humor, indulgence, knowing, sleep, snack, temptation
Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

1 month ago
add, after, boost, chores, cross, dopamine, free, humor, list, motivation, procrastination, productivity, self-care, sometimes, task
My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

5 months ago
back, chair, chairs, household, humor, husband, just, laziness, magic, marriage, push, relationship
To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

1 month ago
book, cool, devastating, devastating news, everyone, humor, i, irony, news, stay, stay cool, year, year book
This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

5 months ago
clash, cultural, cultural clash, generation, humor, identity, old, old soul, people, soul, wrong

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Just shared via Pinterest:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Seen just now on Threads:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Seen just now on Threads:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Freshly posted on X:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏