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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Just shared via Slack:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Shared recently on YouTube:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Just shared via Telegram:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Going viral on WeChat:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Trending via WeChat:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Just landed via YouTube:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Trending via Slack:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday 😅☕️ #WeekendWishfulThinking

asking, Friday, front, girl, humor, just, longing, Monday, procrastination, standing, weekend, workweek

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

0

2 months ago

apps, charged, consider, dating, even, falling, friendship, humor, i, least, love, me, need, never, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension, weird, work
I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

0

2 months ago

actors, comedy, feelings, fun, humor, i, kissing, movie, reaction, romantic, said, strong, subtitles, surprise, unexpected, while
Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

0

3 months ago

am, annoying, attitude, humor, i, just, permanence, personality, self-awareness, super, worry, yes
Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

0

5 months ago

astronomy, burning, burnout, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, metaphor, meteor, meteor shower, nature, nothing, observation, remind, shower, still
Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

0

2 hours ago

back, back to work, forgetfulness, humor, i, job, morning, office, remember, trying, work
My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

0

2 months ago

dogs, earthquakes, feel, gas, humor, pets

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

57 shares on Twitch this month:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

15 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Live now on WeChat:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Shared recently on WeChat:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨