Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs fancy dates when you have a loyal shower curtain stealing the show? 🚿😂 Here's to finding that down-to-earth, hands-on partner with waterproof qualities! 💦🛁 #ShowerLove"

asking, curtain, down to earth, Earth, expectations, humor, i, intimacy, just, me, over, relationship, shower, shower curtain, someone, touch, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, blower, cleaner, cleaning, close, exaggeration, flamethrower, humor, leaf, leaf blower, second, tools, unconventional, unconventional tools
There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

0

2 months ago

bots, here, humor, internet, joke, online, sci-fi, star, Star Wars, technology, wars
So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

0

2 months ago

ancestors, disappointment, ever, evolution, evolving, humor, lungs, pretty, pride, proud, sarcasm, sea
Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

0

2 months ago

cow, humor, joke, legs, stool, three, three legs, udder
Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

0

2 months ago

attention, cost, financial, humor, i, joke, pay, poor, self-deprecation, sorry, witty
Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

0

5 months ago

funny observation, gang, gang member, hand, hands, humor, luck, lucky, member, observation, photo, photos, something

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

63 shares on Threads this month:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

29 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Live now on Threads:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Just shared via WeChat:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Shared recently on TikTok:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Trending via Messenger:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨