Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.
  • Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.
  • A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.
  • Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?
  • I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.
  • You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.