Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.
  • I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.
  • Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.
  • Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.
  • I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.
  • There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.